i have a heavy heart. tonight i listened to fifty or sixty people sing songs to praise Jesus and proclaim that He is king and the light of the world. it was wonderful and moving and heartbreaking. heartbreaking because that feeling felt fresh. and that freshness hurts. this love that i found in Jesus so long ago isn't new. and it kills me to realize that and understand if i'm not following God, i'm turning away from Him. that is an awful truth.
but it's also beautiful. and reassuring. because when i make a U-turn, i'll be facing God. facing Him. wow, that's so heavy to even type. i am looking in the direction of my Father.
God doesn't simply reveal Himself to us, He reveals who we really are. what we are inside ourselves and in our souls. what no one else knows, even you. tonight i found God revealing His strength and my weakness. completely humbling and scary and wonderful and exciting.
i love not knowing and being confused.
i think searching for truth gives life meaning.
He is the truth.
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